My Daughter, My Teacher

“You may give them your love but not your thoughts,

For they have their own thoughts.

You may house their bodies but not their souls,

For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,

which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.

You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.

For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.”

~Khalil Gibran

As she turns 10, my daughter reminds me of all the beautiful moments we have spent over the past decade. The hours we spent learning to lay idle, reading books, staring at the ceiling & sometimes the stars, eating ice-cream whenever we felt like, going for a stroll as our hearts wished.

The squabbles & the quarrels we’ve had. The laughs & the cries we’ve shared. The learning and unlearning which we’ve been a part of. We’ve developed a secret language – just between the two of us. We have secret signs & looks for almost every situation – when she is tired, when I am upset, when she wants something, when I am anxious, when she is fearful, or even when we come across a person we find really weird.

I need not tell her – she knows – that she will always be my first love – my first born. In the process of growing up together, there is probably more that she has taught me than the other way around.

1. Look for happiness inside – Adults seem to complicate the concept of happiness a lot. They buy things to be happy, they want to move in all the right circles to be happy, and they look for happiness in so many other avenues. But not children. They don’t look for others to make them happy. They are basically happy people. She makes me question – why can’t happiness be so easy to come by for us?

2. Don’t second-guess yourself – She has taught me to be sure of the decisions I make. Just as she is of what she wants and why she wants it! In her world there is no place for self-doubt and self-loathing. She has taught me to enjoy the present…just as it is today & now.

3. Find a creative pursuit – And pursue it with all the passion you’ve got. Like when she picks up her brush and paints till the canvas portrays a story or picks up a book and pours over its pages even while eating. She encourages me to be whatever I want and it doesn’t matter what time of the day it is or what time of my life it is.

4. Laugh whenever you can – and makes others while you are at it. She asks me the craziest of riddles and tells me the ‘knock-knock jokes’ out of the blue and I am left scratching my head more often than not. All of it leaves us in splits. She finds reasons to laugh for smallest of things…when she finishes a Lego, when she completes her homework, when she’s done with her hobby class, or when she’s back from school or getting ready for it in the morning.

5. Respect friendship – She has few friends for I believe she is wise. She believes in quality over quantity. And she teaches me that one has to go all the way for those friends… cry with them when they are hurt or laugh with them when they are happy. She teaches me that we should bring out the best in our friends just as they should bring out the best in us.

6. Observe the small things – because those are the ones that matter. Observe the little frown above the eyes…or a smile hiding at the corner of one’s lips. Observe the nature’s simplicity…a rose in its full bloom…a balloon flying up in the sky…a puppy wagging its tail. She taught me to take a pause, slow down, and take notice.

7. Speak your mind – loud and clear. She taught me not to hesitate in voicing if I don’t like something or alternatively if something fascinates me – for she is not someone to mince her words. Wear your heart on your sleeves & proudly at that.

8. Be inquisitive – Ask questions about anything and everything – She is not shy to ask – as silly as the question may be. She reaches to a dictionary when stuck with a word, she reaches to the encyclopedia when stuck on a concept. She makes her father and I rack our brains with her questions. And if all else fails, she knows to reach out to the ever-dependable Google. For there is no shame in learning. She has taught us to be life-long students.

9. Relax. Nap. Sleep – Like Elise Mathew said, “Lazing around is an art which can never be bought” – a principle which my daughter swears by. She’s taught me to find happiness in this simple practice of doing nothing every once in a while. For the mind detoxifies, the body energizes, and the soul heals.

10. Don’t hold grudges – Just like almost all the children, my daughter forgives, forgets, and forges ahead. The nasty words exchanged, the quarrels quarrelled are all forgotten the very next day – no questions asked. And I so wonder – if only us adults could simplify relationships this much.

As she grows older, I know our time together will reduce. But I know she will continue to be my teacher even without realizing it. And my only hope and wish is that she remembers me as someone who was able to teach her a bit or two about life, love, and most importantly laughter.

First published Here

#Child #Lessons #Parenting #Teacher